Just over a week ago, I put on my "out out" heels, a "lbd" and toddled off into London for a brief visit back to my old life. I met my old work friends, starting at lunch and then on for drinks as one of our gang (my old boss) is heading off to Singapore with work for a few years. I worked on a foreign exchange trading desk for one of the American banks no one really likes any more for 13 years, before waving goodbye to that part of my life when my first gorgeous daughter made her entrance into this world. Seven years on we are still all great friends, meet up when we can and when we do its very much like old times - banter, laughs and a few cheeky drinks. This time was no different. Having worked in an extremely male orientated aggressive environment for all that time, means a packed bar full of men doesn't intimidate me, as I know I can hold my own! In fact, if you asked me to walk into a packed bar full of women I would dread it (that's probably another post for a another time though maybe!!!)
So, the drinks are flowing, we are all catching up and the banter is flying around. Someone I hadn't seen in years asked the killer question "what are you upto now?" Obviously, I waxed lyrical about being at home, looking after the girls and we all then started chatting that its the hardest job in the world and 12 hour days on a trading desk would feel like a breeze compared to a day at home when its one of "those" days. (We all know the days I mean, the teething, or the tummy bug, or the nothing you do today mum, is going to seem to be right days!). I then quickly added as an aside, oh and I've just set up my own business. Obviously, the response was "oh really, doing what?"
Yep, I know, this is the time when my sales pitch should kick in, when I should blow them all away as I show them all a creative entrepreneurial side to me they would never have seen when we were all screaming buy and sell at each other. This is also when I should have spoke with pride about memory makers, but also taken this chance to tell everyone I could as I was in a bar packed full of old friends, alot of them being people who financially have their fingers in a lot of pies - so might have had advice for me, or people they could put me in touch with etc.
But oh no, I came back with "oh, it's a web based little thing selling a little personalised gift thing, nothing major". Inspiring eh? Yep I can hear you reaching for your laptop to get on my website now and start buying!
The next day I woke just feeling mildly fed up at myself, and I didn't really know why. It was only when I thought about that conversation, did I realise that was what I was annoyed at myself with.
Why did I say that? Yes, trying to get a group of macho men (with fairly big ego's) to be interested in a gift predominantly bought by women might have been a big ask, but so what. I think I was maybe nervous to allow any banter/jokes at memory makers expanse because I feel so close to it and it would have been a hard one to laugh off. But I can give as good as I get, anyone will tell you that so I know I could have batted it off. Why was I dismissive and almost embarrassed? Because I'm not embarrassed. I love my product and love where I have got it in a short space of time, and the sales I have achieved. Having then told myself off constantly for a week, I've come to the conclusion that it was because - as its just me, its mine, my ideas, my direction that in that instance I felt vulnerable. Instead of then pushing through that and just shouting about memory makers, I retreated. In fact, my dear friend Ann who was in that conversation rang me this week and said, why did you not tell them all, be proud of it. She told me off and she was right, j needed to hear it. I need to be the best sales person memory makers could wish for. Why - because its me idea and I think ita a fantastic one. I am proud. I really am. I need to never ever forget that and never ever feel shy about that. Its a learning curve. Like I've said, its a new world, being my own boss is very new. But it means I have to take responsibility for all areas, which includes self promotion and if I don't speak with the passion I have for it, then what's the point. Its not arrogant or "showy offy" and arrogance is the thing I hate most in the world, but telling people about it and where its got it isn't arrogant. Its ok to tell people with a smile on my face. Sooooooo, another valuable lesson learnt, I am proud of what I've achieved and there is nothing wrong in saying that or showing that to anyone!
Oh and I also learnt that day, don't walk on the grate on your drive in your "out out" heels after being out drinking all day, as your heel will get stuck and you will have to knock on your door at midnight to your husband opening the door and you standing there very large grate in hand with heel hanging out the grate!
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